Yea these were the big two. These were the questions that kept me staring out the window of my new-build exurban cloister. Grey horizons, beige polymer, dead grass and motionless late model automobiles are my companions these days. But once I had a dream..
..where I found myself grounded and authenticated within grids of brickface only to be whisked away to moody paradise on monstera leaves (google 'plant with holes in leaves'). I was doing a lot of self-work and a whole lotta self-love while making time for what I call my 'freestyle' career. I was feeling sexy and I wasn't afraid to flaunt that with new friends, or on Instagram. It was hard, but it worth it. And did I know the value of each and every dollar I managed to score? Yes. Yes I did. The *only* thing that concerned me was this dream I kept having after especially busy days..
..where I'd wake up in this little house at the foot of a ridge to the sound of the baby cryin. I'd change her diaper on the ironing board and start preparin corn meal grits and butter for her breakfast. The husband would already be out by the mill with the boys chainin and draggin logs from the water with that awful noisy tractor. Of course he'd be starting early just to cut off to the bar by dinner time. It kept me up at night wondering if he was drowned in the creek while stumbling to bed. I could picture all his struggling and cries as I drifted off and all at once..
I could...see the house from above...it was a color photograph of the house, yard and all...
And then I started seeing more things...
...a cloud above the ocean with what appeared a pillar of water rising to meet it like something from the Bible..
...the most gorgeous slipper shaped little red automobile my eyes have ever laid eyes on..
..and this I just couldn't believe...a pair of towers, TWO of them rising above the New York City skyline right behind the Statue of Liberty!
...something like a glass cathedral with the name Sears, just like the department store, on the wall in the back...
...and a newspaper of some sort that made no sense at all to me...
...the last thing I remember was the oddest of all. It appeared to be a mirror with a cover bearing circular eyes
and a symbol of an apple with a bite taken. I thought of that fruit from the Bible and how eating it caused the fall of man. Why was it on this mirror?
For some reason I'll never forget it...it was almost like...
..I was staring into the face of something, something living, but larger than anything I'd ever seen, heck larger than the stadium itself. It was suspended in a bubble of water like the one I'd just emerged from and in that moment it emerged along with beams of light that tore through the city. I closed my eyes and waited for the end..
..Awake, cell phone rininging. Hello? Quiet weeping. The room is dark. "It's.....it's your father". He's what? Is he gonna? "yea........"Limbs falling away, my solar plexus forms a screw and winds up my trachea exiting my mouth and vaporizing into the room. A tiny charge ignites at the crown of my skull, percolates, glittering through brain tissue and, extinguishing, settles effervescently in my throat.
I know what this means.
Thanks for listening.
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